I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
