Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
