omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
