Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize