Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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