Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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