Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You are the jesus of drinking
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize