he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
