We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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