You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
