But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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