I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
