im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
