Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
