It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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