Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
