I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
