But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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