She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
