Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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