You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
