it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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