I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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