I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
