Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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