I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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