Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have aggressive nipples.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
