is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
