Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
