the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
