she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
