Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
