Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
