Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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