Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
