I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
