I bet he comes in French.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize