Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize