I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
