i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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