My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
