I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
