too bad you live with your parents still
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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