the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
