I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
