Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize