I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
