btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
