was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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