These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
