I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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