great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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