I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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