You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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