The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This baby is an asshole
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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