they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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