That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
