Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
