It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
