haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
