I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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