what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
