what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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