3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
