Don't you send me to vm
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
