I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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