Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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