if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
