Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
