Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
