She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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