fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
