i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
