he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i dont even know how to be here
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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