I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
