Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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